Non-Drinking Holidays

We are now into the holiday season and for those of us who are fighting, or have fought, are are thinking about fighting to be non-drinkers, we have a whole set of challenges. So I wanted to share some thoughts and tips for overcoming - even using - these challenges as a non-drinker.

First, I am the first to admit that I do not have all the answers. I just have what I have studied, experienced myself and what others have shared with me.

Second, I want to reiterate the physical health facts about alcohol. Physically no amount of alcohol is healthy. All previously released information that argued differently has been debunked. This is not hard to actually grasp if we look at the chemical process that takes place in the metabolism of alcohol. The by-product is toxic chemical called Acetaldehyde: a poison. With every alcoholic beverage you are administering a dosage of this wonderful chemical to your body. Acetaldehyde´s closest relative is Formaldehyde - yes the chemical most of us recall from high school biology. So, ask yourself, "how many drinks" of Formaldehyde is a healthy amount?" Sure, purists will argue the analogy is imperfect, but it is pretty close. Liver cirrhosis, diabetes, neuropathy, heart problems, cancer and more are all more likely for people who abuse alcohol. Not to mention basic weight gain, skin problems and other appearance impacts.

So what can you do for the holidays? Well to start with, anticipate the challenges the holidays bring. For those of us for whom stress is a drinking trigger, the holidays add tremendous stress to most of our lives; travel, family visiting, relationship tensions, financial stress, etc.

Also, anticipate the other alcohol triggers the holidays present. Its festive, there is eggnog, wine, football games and everyone wants a drinking companion. If you are a former drinker, you will face the expectation that you will be that companion.

By anticipating it you can prepare. Here are a few suggestions:

Use whatever works for you. Different things work for different people so start there. If you are a "I just won´t drink today" type, use that.

Recall the reasons you are sober. Be reminded that alcohol is not, and has never been, your friend. What has alcohol caused in your life. Shut your eyes and think about the impact alcohol has had on your health, relationships, finances, career, motivation, energy, sleep. Stay there until you feel the emotion it brings you: don't just logically see alcohol as an enemy until you feel it.

Be prepared to respond others when offered alcohol. If simply, "no thankyou" will suffice, I suggest not saying, "thanks, I am not drinking today..." That will just bring questions where you will need to explain and open yourself to pressure. Remember that most people who have a drinking problem want company and have themselves justified their drinking. Instead respond with, "I am a non-drinker," or "I don't drink." It is simple, eliminates the option of possible drinking. It also reaffirms in your mind your decision.

You see, being a "non-drinker" is an identity; part of our subconscious. From Neurolinguistic programming (NLP) we have learned that we default to our identity when faced with decisions. Who you are is a fundamentally more powerful position psychologically speaking than what you are choosing to do or not do in a given circumstance.

Stick to your non-drinking routine. Changing routines is a valuable technique for overcoming addictions. By eliminating the behavioral triggers present from the previous drinking-life. With our new setting and activities, we empower ourselves to stay sober. While during the holidays we may find ourselves in different environments, do your best to do the things that are important to you. Exercise, meditate, follow your diet, get rest, get up at the same time in the morning and whatever else is important to your routine.

When you need help or feel susceptible reach out to someone.

And, I want to also point out that after a lifetime drinking at holidays, experiencing them as a non-drinker offers a tremendous opportunity to enjoy the events, friends and family at a whole new level absent the dulling effect of alcohol.

If you are thinking about starting your transformation to a non-drinker, I have blocked out time each day this week, including Thanksgiving and Sunday, to speak to people thinking about it making this transformation. So feel free to reach out to set up a call. bradkofoed@gmail.com

Best wishes and happy holidays to all.