Not drinking versus Non-drinker

Quitting alcohol is difficult. I am into my 6th month of sobriety and never felt better. I lost 29 pounds, have found my passion and purpose and wake up excited for the day ahead; way different to when I was drinking of after and was dealing with depression. There are some key things I learned in my process that I wish to share.

First, there is a small, but critical nuance in how to frame this process when getting off alcohol. In the first few months I believed I could just power through not drinking. In my mind, I was a drinker who was going to stop drinking. I lamented the idea of foregoing those good times I had always associated with alcohol. "how can I possibly sit on the beach without a beer cooler?" But, I was seeing evidence that my body was not tolerating alcohol the way it once had so felt I better stop. And, I failed, and failed, and failed.

As I began to listen and speak to others, I realized that I had to do something different. That meant getting more honest with myself and what alcohol had really meant to my past and current life. Once I was able to see that, I was able to see the "good times" for what they were: a false, medicated state that did not serve me at all. Once I was able to re-frame what alcohol meant to me, I was able to reframe who I was in relation to alcohol. I was no longer a drinker who had stopped drinking. I BECAME a non-drinker, someone who simply does not drink alcohol now or in the future. I don't want it.

Second, is what awaits after alcohol has been left behind: whatever alcohol was medicating. In my case, I suddenly found out about depression first hand. My experience with depression was almost more of a place than an emotion like joy or anger or sadness. I felt like I woke up in a haze or even a cave. This was a darkness that I had not known and what I had apparently been medicating for who-knows how many years. And my symptoms were more than sadness but more like hopelessness. I thought alcohol had stolen my energy and motivation but I believe that the culprit was depression. Finding the charger, washing dishes, basic personal care, and basic tasks felt almost impossible. And, this was of course accompanied by other very dark thoughts and fears. Thankfully, I knew I had a lot to live for and it was worth finding the strand I needed to pull myself out of this place. In hindsight, I would recommend professional help. However, I elected to find my own path out.

The key I found to get from that place to happiness was broken into several steps and one critical element. I had to immediately and drastically change my setting and my routines. And start accomplishing basic tasks to rebuild my perseverance. And second was to find purpose. I found the idea of creating something new with meaning was my new purpose. That is a complete story in and of itself, but it was enough to help me get out of bed every day, make my bed, clean my dishes and contribute something to my new project. After a few weeks time, I was ready to create something new and add new rituals, habits and activities to my routine. Before I knew I felt and was different: no alcohol and no more depression. Just purpose.

Among my new projects was to learn more about everything I had gone through. I started by outlining everything I had learned in my own process. Next I began consuming the literature around getting happiness and ultimately took the Harvard certification course on happiness led by renowned Happiness expert, professor and author Arthur Brooks. Next I applied my own knowledge earned from 25 years in business creating success plans and the result was www.thegethappinessplan.com course and my 1-on-1 life coaching practice.